Just when you thought the Middle East was getting normal…

Let me present Susblood Labs, which is manufacturing a combination pen and capsule of preserved pig’s blood, designed to reconstitute in the heat of a suicide bomb and defile the body of the bomber. Apparently this is meant to act as a deterrent to bombers, by keeping them out of heaven.

(I could talk about the basic physics and theology problems with this, but why bother? There’s something delightfully mad about the whole thing.)

EDIT: But wait! There’s more! From the Middle East Media Research Institute, a translation of a fascinating contest showing up on some Islamist websites. Help design a website for a terror group, and get to fire missiles at American troops!

(You know, I really wish I were kidding. It could be that both of these things are bogus… but somehow, I doubt it. The first one, in particular, just seems so appropriate to the mindset that if it’s satire, it’s the most brilliant bloody satire I’ve seen in a while. The latter… well, all sorts of strange things show up on the public fora of terror groups. Most of them are nonsense. But such splendid nonsense! For that one, I think the best commentary came from Dry Bones.)

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Published in: on December 13, 2005 at 18:33  Comments (14)  
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14 Comments

  1. *blinks*
    *taps ground with foot* Yup, no danger of “normalcy” yet.
    I am highly amused at the use of biotechnology to play within the rules of theology.
    And I wonder how long it will be before Susblood starts marketing their product for people who like making blood pudding, but can’t find fresh pig’s bloods. 😉

  2. *blinks*
    *taps ground with foot* Yup, no danger of “normalcy” yet.
    I am highly amused at the use of biotechnology to play within the rules of theology.
    And I wonder how long it will be before Susblood starts marketing their product for people who like making blood pudding, but can’t find fresh pig’s bloods. 😉

  3. Why, it would let you make fresh blood pudding that only forms when the temperature is high enough… brilliant!

  4. Why, it would let you make fresh blood pudding that only forms when the temperature is high enough… brilliant!

  5. “Our products are safe, non-toxic and do not affect the eternity of infidels.”
    Wow. Just… wow.

  6. “Our products are safe, non-toxic and do not affect the eternity of infidels.”
    Wow. Just… wow.

  7. Well, you know those Super High-Temp ovens they’re coming up with . . .

  8. Well, you know those Super High-Temp ovens they’re coming up with . . .

  9. There’s this long-standing belief that Muslims react to pork products like vampires to holy water. The old “Pershing in the Philippines” story is another one.
    Of course, dietary restrictions are suspended in emergencies anyway, and if exploding doesn’t count as an emergency, I have no idea what does.

  10. There’s this long-standing belief that Muslims react to pork products like vampires to holy water. The old “Pershing in the Philippines” story is another one.
    Of course, dietary restrictions are suspended in emergencies anyway, and if exploding doesn’t count as an emergency, I have no idea what does.

  11. What’s the “Pershing in the Philippines” story?

  12. What’s the “Pershing in the Philippines” story?

  13. Oh, that American troops intimidated Muslim rebels in the Philippines by telling them that casualties would be buried with a hog carcass. Let me see if I can find a reference… here we go. Good old Snopes.

  14. Oh, that American troops intimidated Muslim rebels in the Philippines by telling them that casualties would be buried with a hog carcass. Let me see if I can find a reference… here we go. Good old Snopes.


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