Silly buggers

For those of you who haven’t seen this, the Rev. Ted Haggard, a prominent conservative leader, (and who was prominently featured in the recent documentary Jesus Camp, btw) recently resigned after admitting to the at least partial truth of allegations that he’s been popping meth and screwing male prostitutes. But he qualified his admission:

One of the nation’s most influential conservative Christian leaders, the Rev. Ted Haggard, said today he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a self-described male escort. But Haggard denied allegations by the man that he ever used the drug or had sex with him.

You know, this makes me miss straightforward bullshit like “I didn’t inhale!”

(Incidentally — this story is prompting so much amusement in no small part because, what a shock, the Rev. Haggard spends a lot of time preaching against homosexuals. Until a few days ago, he was one of the up-and-coming powers of the religious right wing. Hey, with habits like these, maybe he should run for Congress…)

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Published in: on November 3, 2006 at 14:53  Comments (13)  
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13 Comments

  1. On November 4, 2006 at 00:35 johnnybrainwash said:

    I’ve been getting laughs out of this one all day.

  2. On November 4, 2006 at 00:35 johnnybrainwash said:

    I’ve been getting laughs out of this one all day.

  3. On November 4, 2006 at 01:01 finagler said:

    As a side note, I hear one of Clinton’s old college buddies “confirmed” his claim that he didn’t inhale was accurate, though still bullshit. Something along the lines of “oh yeah, Bill had asthma and never smoked the stuff — he just did brownies.” (I heard this from a family member, so take it with a grain of salt…)

  4. On November 4, 2006 at 01:01 finagler said:

    As a side note, I hear one of Clinton’s old college buddies “confirmed” his claim that he didn’t inhale was accurate, though still bullshit. Something along the lines of “oh yeah, Bill had asthma and never smoked the stuff — he just did brownies.” (I heard this from a family member, so take it with a grain of salt…)

  5. On November 4, 2006 at 01:26 johnnybrainwash said:

    I remember I saw him explain it on the Arsenio Hall show (remember Arsenio?) He said that since he was never a smoker, he didn’t know what to do. Someone passed him the joint, he hit it and choked. Never tried again.
    Which is a pretty funny story for a soon-to-be-pres to tell on TV, but I still don’t believe it.

  6. On November 4, 2006 at 01:26 johnnybrainwash said:

    I remember I saw him explain it on the Arsenio Hall show (remember Arsenio?) He said that since he was never a smoker, he didn’t know what to do. Someone passed him the joint, he hit it and choked. Never tried again.
    Which is a pretty funny story for a soon-to-be-pres to tell on TV, but I still don’t believe it.

  7. On November 4, 2006 at 02:00 finagler said:

    Aha, the interweb knows all:

    “The reason he didn’t inhale was because we didn’t have any marijuana at Oxford,” Walker said. “We had hashish, which was crumbled into a tobacco cigarette. And Clinton is strongly allergic to tobacco. So allergic, that I’ve seen him stumble out of a pub in Oxford rather than face the tobacco smoke. He didn’t inhale because he couldn’t, although I’m afraid it wasn’t for want of trying.” Clinton also attended Oxford events at which hash brownies were consumed, according to Walker. But luckily for Clinton, Walker said, no reporter has ever asked him on the record: Mr. President, did you ever ingest?

  8. On November 4, 2006 at 02:00 finagler said:

    Aha, the interweb knows all:

    “The reason he didn’t inhale was because we didn’t have any marijuana at Oxford,” Walker said. “We had hashish, which was crumbled into a tobacco cigarette. And Clinton is strongly allergic to tobacco. So allergic, that I’ve seen him stumble out of a pub in Oxford rather than face the tobacco smoke. He didn’t inhale because he couldn’t, although I’m afraid it wasn’t for want of trying.” Clinton also attended Oxford events at which hash brownies were consumed, according to Walker. But luckily for Clinton, Walker said, no reporter has ever asked him on the record: Mr. President, did you ever ingest?

  9. On November 4, 2006 at 02:22 cheif said:

    speaking of breathing & political shame …

  10. On November 4, 2006 at 02:22 cheif said:

    speaking of breathing & political shame …

  11. On November 6, 2006 at 02:50 dukeofmarma said:

    I find it amusing that people involved in these scandals forget that things they say on video are archived and compared. I saw some footage in which he denied all knowledge of his dealer/gigilo

  12. On November 6, 2006 at 02:50 dukeofmarma said:

    I find it amusing that people involved in these scandals forget that things they say on video are archived and compared. I saw some footage in which he denied all knowledge of his dealer/gigilo

  13. On January 9, 2007 at 20:27 Anonymous said:

    The sound clip is excellent. 🙂 Perfectly – sadly – apropos.


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